Thursday, December 1

Finding Your Rhythm

No, this isn't a post about music... though the title would suggest otherwise.  This is a post about finding your rhythm.  You could translate that into everyday life OR blogging.  I've been noticing a pattern in myself: anytime I go through a big change, I have a hard time finding my footing.  When I found out I was pregnant last year, it was unexpected and sort of shook my foundation.  It's not that I didn't end up being terribly excited about it, it was just something that was creating a huge change in my world.  Now while we are settling into this house (which is a temporary situation, but more on that another day), I'm finding it difficult to slide back into my daily routines AND blogging routines.  I currently feel a lack of focus, motivation, and organization.  I WANT these things, and I don't lack the drive... it's like I can't make myself focus enough to achieve them.  Part of that is this busy time of year, but I know the other one comes from being a bit of a creature of habit whose familiarities have been turned upside down.

There are ways to cope with this.  Right?  Of course.  Being an adult is all about learning to cope with uncomfortable situations... or I should say MY adult life requires a lot of learned coping techniques. 

Lately I have been writing things out even more than I used to.  I know a lot of you are list makers so you're like "what? I already do that."  I mean EVEN MORE lists.  My phone notes and notebooks right now are showing my crazy side just a little.  It's helping me stay on track for the day, return emails in a more timely manner (whew), and reminding me to feed myself at appropriate times so I don't get too hangry.

I've also been forcing myself to stop feeling guilty when I can't complete everything I intend to.  If we were to have a conversation about expectations of myself vs. reality, you would realize that I obviously don't live in this dimension.  I live in some parallel universe where there are four Katies.  I know a lot of you are like that, too-- people who not only have great intentions, but also have the weight of guilt when you can't accomplish something, or feel too bad to say no when it comes to friends and loved ones.  Which leads me to...

(If you have the source, please, please let me know.)
Saying no when you need to.  This is something I've been practicing for the better part of the year and it's still hard!  I am the great over-extender and it makes me miserable sometimes.  Are any of you like this?  Am I the only crazy out there who over-extends herself to the point of absolute exhaustion?!  That was a rhetorical question.  Of course I'm not.  We all do it and we need to get better at taking care of ourselves... oh, and taking care of yourself is NOT a selfish act!  (There's that guilt again.)  I'm not very nice or nurturing when I've had 3 hours of sleep and I feel like I'm carrying the weight of two worlds on my shoulders.  No one in my life is being properly loved when I'm like that.  No one benefits.

I guess if we are beginning to plan out New Years resolutions for the coming year, I'd say that all of these things are still at the top of my list.  I'll throw some easy ones in there too so I don't feel like a total failure when the next big change comes along and I'm huddled somewhere in a corner with my face in my hands.  I'm an adult work-in-progress.  Now, if you were to judge my progress as a person by children's standards, I'd be pretty ace.  Seriously.  I'm great at naps, temper-tantrums, and snack time.  Impressed?  ;)

Have a great day and thanks for reading, friends.  Especially today.  xoxo Katie

52 comments:

  1. OceanEyesDecember 1, 2011 at 12:58 AM

    I know where your coming from! Sometimes I feel like I'm stretching myself to thin. I always try to take a step back and just breath. Play my favorite song or do a little craft and just clear my mind. But then that little craft turns into a big one. Haha so yes this will be my new years resolution. :)

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  2. Melissa @ Honeybee VintageDecember 1, 2011 at 1:07 AM

    I appreciate this post right now:) I had a baby two weeks ago (my second child) and I feel like I have been knocked to the ground. The last two weeks have been the most overwhelming I have ever experienced and Ive had to give myself permission to not get everything (if anything) accomplished each day. Im slowly adjusting to a new normal and trying to give myself as much time as I need:) Its nice to know Im not alone in coping with changes!

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  3. Cara-Leigh JaneDecember 1, 2011 at 2:12 AM

    I understand exactly how you feel. My baby is 7months old, and since i've had her i feel slightly useless, im intending to set up a business myself but finding the motivation is near to impossible. I do have the time, but when my time is free i end up wasting my time sat watching television, which i DO NOT want to be doing. I also become a nasty miserable person when i've not had enough sleep or even if i'm woke in the night. It helps nobody and i feel so guilty that i'm not the loving mother i should be all the time. I'm trying desperately to change, to keep my house tidy, to stay calm and just remember to breathe. Thank you so much for posting this, it's nice to not feel as though i'm the only one! x

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  4. Kristhel VahtDecember 1, 2011 at 2:15 AM

    It's almost like I read something from my own thoughts :)

    I have been feeling the exact same feelings like you are feeling right now. But I am used to it, because that is exactly who I am supposed to be. I also learned to love it! But I am still learning to say no and probably I am not going to make it, but hey, maybe it is supposed to be like that. Life is too short to worrie, I love what I do and i do what i love.

    Best wishes :)

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  5. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 2:27 AM

    Well your not alone...there are so many of us women out there that deal with those feelings. We like to take on to much and feel guilty when we can't do the impossible. Im only staring out in the craft business and I feel the pressure. I can't imagine what you successful ones go through.

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  6. KoklykoDecember 1, 2011 at 3:20 AM

    You're so right!
    I don't have baby but I totally understand! I have a time-consuming job and it's difficult to take time for my passion(sewing and knitting and make scrapbooking), my love, my friends, my family... and at least me!^^
    So I will try to take your resolution too and to adopt a slower attitude!

    Thanks for you're lovely blog! It's always a pleasure to read you!

    Sorry for my rough english! ^^

    Best regards.
    Laureline

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  7. KatDecember 1, 2011 at 6:00 AM

    When I read this, I though - wow, so I'm not the only one. I'm as well trying to be as much responsible and an adult in my life, but when it comes to changes, I'm always terrified like a little girl. And it's not that I don't want this chane, I'm just so unsure about the future. It's hard to be grown-up, and age has nothing to do with this.
    Give yourself some time to adjust and it should get better. Wish you luck and strenght !

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  8. RenaeDecember 1, 2011 at 6:28 AM

    This post really struck a chord with me! I am definitely going through this at the moment. While I'm not going through anything as life-changing as a baby, I have just finished University, and finding the transition from that to full-time working life (especially at this time of year) is very challenging.

    Thanks for yet another great post, love your work!

    Best wishes,

    Renae

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  9. Sarah HartleyDecember 1, 2011 at 7:31 AM

    I've been told so often that I need to learn to say no. I tend to be there for everyone else and lose myself in the process causing utter exhaustion, frustration and a lack of focus. It's hard though and something I try to work on every single day. Great post and I hope you are able to find your way soon :)
    Sarah
    http://comingunstitched.blogspot.com

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  10. erin e flynnDecember 1, 2011 at 7:42 AM

    Gosh, I feel this way sometimes and I don;t even have kids! I feel like (since I'm starting my own business) I'm always working, always worried about what to do next, and it's like I just can't ever get it right!

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  11. Hannah RosengrenDecember 1, 2011 at 8:56 AM

    I so know what you mean. As a student I always assume there are 5 of me and that I can go above and beyond every single project and in reality, I can't. Thanks so much for your wisdom. Very helpful during finals week :)

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  12. tamaraDecember 1, 2011 at 9:05 AM

    Its so easy to get overwhelmed with all there is to do! Learning to say no is a journey:)

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  13. melindaDecember 1, 2011 at 9:07 AM

    Thank you for this post. I really needed to hear that. :)

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  14. murgatroidgerowDecember 1, 2011 at 9:58 AM

    I have found that if I prioritize the lists it is very helpful with the guilt factor. I have "must do" items like pick up children, doctor's appointments etc. Then I have ongoing projects which I allow myself to check off if I've worked on them at all. Last there are things that sure would be nice to get done but aren't earth shaking. Your blog is so lovely. If you do other things as well, I'd say you're doing fabulous!

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  15. [eeny]December 1, 2011 at 10:16 AM

    Great post. Saying no to friends and loved ones is very hard for me as well. I always feel guilty if I do. And most of the times I catch myself putting others happiness infront of my own.
    And I am an addult work in process... that's so me. Still trying to find my litte place in this big world. And maybe sometimes I am hiding myself behind projects to do for others instead of working on project "ME". Well, on the new years revolution: Finding my rhythm - and the music of my heart and soul. =)
    Thanks for this post, Katie.

    The quote pic looks a lot like the ones from Jessica of Vol.25.

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  16. RIPplePuddleDecember 1, 2011 at 11:10 AM

    This post couldn't have come at a better time.
    I truly appreciate your honesty, mixed in with positivity and humor:)

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  17. TeddiDecember 1, 2011 at 11:32 AM

    as we all are darling. it's good to know that none of us are alone, in what we want, expect, & actually can be.

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  18. YaelDecember 1, 2011 at 11:44 AM

    i usually always find me at the opposite side of discussions like these. i'm the furthest thing from a creature of habit. i get bored ridiculously easy, and crave change like nothing else. for me, when i'm dealing with a lack of focus and motivation, it's because i've found myself stuck in a routine... and i'm the least productive thing ever at times like those.

    to each their own, i guess, right?

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  19. CateDecember 1, 2011 at 12:09 PM

    I used to think being an adult meant having it all figured out, and being able to wisely and calmly deal with all issues that come your way.

    The day it dawned on me (totally out of the blue, as I was walking to work) that this was not the case was a huge relief of sorts. While it hasn't made any difficult/stressful situation any easier, really, it is a comfort to know that everyone goes through similar insecurities, issues, situations and stresses that make life rough.

    Wishing you the best :-)

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  20. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 12:17 PM

    I know have you feel Katie.
    I'm 27 years old, no kids though, but married, done with school, have a job, and now I am supposed to be all grown up.
    My problem?
    This year I felt like I didn't know who I was anymore! I have been together with my husband since we were 15, and we married when we were 20. My problem in life is that I always say yes to people to please them! I put my needs to the side so the other person can be happy. So when my husband really wanted to try to get children, I automatically said yes...and that was when I realized my pleasing-"problem". I will not have a child now, when I don't know who I am! I have never lived on my own, never tackled everyday problems on my own, never been dumped (but oh, I have broken some hearts...) so on and so fourth... So what have I done?? I have gotten two tattoos (just because I can), I have found my own music taste (that my husband hates, haha), and soon I will participate in a fashion-drwaing course. I have started to run, and Gods I love running with loud music!! My mood is so lighter, I laugh more, and don't feel guilty when I go out with my girls one night and my husband is home. Don't get me wrong; I love my husband and I can't live without him <3
    My tips to you: This is your life, and if you are unhappy figure out why and make small changes. SMALL changes! You only have one life, so live it to the max and don't regret a n y t h i n g!!!!

    Lovelove, Bella

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  21. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 12:28 PM

    Hey lovelyface...excellent timing. I was just telling Logan last night that I feel like my whole life is a series of to-do lists at this point...everything is work to do later, personal stuff to do later, things to read later, movies to watch later, etc etc. I feel like I don't have time for anything and the lists just keep growing! Bah.

    But we'll make it through!! :) ONWARDS AND UPWARDS!

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  22. Laura ChavousDecember 1, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    You read my mail. :)

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  23. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 12:45 PM

    Adult work in progress - I so have to remember that. I always feel like I should be doing more and I constantly have to remind myself that taking care of me isn't selfish - it's a benefit to my family. Glad I'm not the only one.

    Mary
    http://mbeougher.wordpress.com

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  24. JulieDecember 1, 2011 at 12:48 PM

    I know exactly how you feel. I've been the same way lately. I have 4 calendars around the house because I want everything written down because I WILL forget if it isn't. I also have a billion post-it notes and notebooks lying around waiting for me to get to them. I have so many ideas and things I really want to do but I end up being miserable when I finally get to them because I'm always doing things for other people first.....uggghh!! Anyway, yes I understand. lol

    http://julies-thisandthat.blogspot.com/

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  25. KateDecember 1, 2011 at 3:31 PM

    Being a grown up is so hard! It is very rewarding but at times feels so overwhelming. I find the whole money and working thing stressful.... And debt. Well there are times when I just have to say ... Breathe! And be positive and grateful.

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  26. KateDecember 1, 2011 at 3:37 PM

    Ps- I love reading what others have written in your comments - it's inspiring and comforting. We are all just learning and doing the best we can.

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  27. Kaity B.December 1, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Your post is incredibly timely. I'm wrapping up my first semester of grad school and let me tell you- it's been a huge challenge. It's not that I didn't have the desire to do well and work my tail off, but every time I tried, I could NOT focus!

    Needless to say this semester will not be a good one for me, but I'm hoping come January, my slate will be wiped clean! Because I need a fresh start to find my rhythm :)

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  28. Alisi's MummyDecember 1, 2011 at 4:23 PM

    I don't know the image source, but that quote is from productivity guy David Allen. He wrote a great book called Getting Things Done. You should check it out of the library if you've never read it before. Whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed I take another look at his book and try to get myself re-focussed. Matter of fact - I think I need to do that right now!

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  29. Jennifer BewerseDecember 1, 2011 at 5:06 PM

    I totally have "the world will end if I say no" syndrome combined with a touch of "if I push myself just a little, I can fit it in." Nope. Doesn't work. I totally agree with this whole post!

    As a musician who constantly has projects thrown at me, I've worked really hard over the last several years to say no and take care of myself. Even though I still slip up, it's been great and everyone seems happier! For the most part I eat enough, sleep enough, relax enough, and still get a ton done. The best part is, in the end even though I might not get everything done, I'm more of the person I want to be. Quality is always better than quantity.

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  30. AmberDecember 1, 2011 at 5:20 PM

    Adult-in-progress. I like that,and tend to gravitate toward it as well. I always feel guilty whenever I can't finish something or take time for myself. Especially the latter,but mostly because I guess I feel like I don't deserve it...or something? Although,I'm trying (I said trying!) to get better with it. :)

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  31. LindseyDecember 1, 2011 at 5:24 PM

    I can relate, Katie. Good work at putting it all in perspective. Sounds like you're doing just fine at being an adult :)

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  32. Sécia MischkeDecember 1, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    Great post. I often feel the same.

    ♥ sécia
    www.petiteinsanities.blogspot.com

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  33. skunkboyDecember 1, 2011 at 10:18 PM

    I'm loving all of these comments on this post! Thank you all for taking the time to share your perspective!!!

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  34. JoDecember 1, 2011 at 11:46 PM

    I've noticed that when I say "no", I stress over saying more than necessary. Usually my "no" is not met with the horrible response I imagined it would be. I'm getting better at it. Sounds like you are, too. :)

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  35. AnonymousDecember 2, 2011 at 12:23 AM

    great post, katie. i feel the exact same way during periods of transition. i started a new job a month ago and i'm still trying to settle into a new rhythm. good luck!

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  36. AnonymousDecember 2, 2011 at 1:23 AM

    This was great - thanks for your honesty and vulnerability! I really appreciate your phrase "an adult work-in-progress." It's nice to know someone else feels that way...
    I could have written a lot of this. xoxo Hope things get back in place for you soon!

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  37. GuguDecember 2, 2011 at 3:30 AM

    really helpful post! i'm not alone in this situation! thank you for sharing!

    ciao from italy :)
    http://guendastoptoptips.blogspot.com/

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  38. supercursiDecember 2, 2011 at 6:42 AM

    "I've also been forcing myself to stop feeling guilty when I can't complete everything I intend to"

    Oh, yes! Sometimes I even end crying of tiredness and impotence. Last week I readed Momo for the first time and it really made me think about the actual world where we want to achieve the more the better, feeling guilty for taking a little time to enjoy, rest or simply live!

    Great post :)

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  39. EmmaDecember 2, 2011 at 1:03 PM

    Thanks for this, I totally relate.. :)

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  40. Michelle ClementDecember 2, 2011 at 1:13 PM

    I think we should all be judged by children's standards!! :) he he. I definitely do the same thing, and I'm struggling to manage - I just started full-time university and am continuing to work too many hours a week, so I'm getting better at saying no in favor of sleep, but it's tough!! Love this post. :)

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  41. Stormie DaeDecember 2, 2011 at 1:14 PM

    Thanks for posting this!! I just talked about this on my blog a few weeks ago...obviously it's a sign I need to make sure I am not doing too much! :-)

    http://www.maydae.com/design/its-okay/

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  42. BrendaDecember 2, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    A friend directed me to this post - thank you for sharing. I'm taking some steps toward making some big changes, and have been feeling exactly the same way. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but this is helpful and encouraging. Thank you!

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  43. A Splash of IdaDecember 2, 2011 at 2:24 PM

    Hi! I came across your blog through Sometimes Sweet and I would just like to say that your blog is amazing. You have a lot of creative things going on and your posts are very inspiring as well. :-) I like your style and the way you just express your feelings. Thank you for sharing this lovely post.

    xoxo
    Ida

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  44. UnknownDecember 2, 2011 at 3:01 PM

    i feel ya! i have a newborn and a kindergartner and the balancing act is killin' me! plus, transitioning from a full time cubicle job to a stay-at-home-mom is insane. i love it, but it is definitely taking some getting used to! thanks for the awesome and honest post!

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  45. ZaneDecember 2, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    great post, thanks for sharing

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  46. AnonymousDecember 2, 2011 at 9:30 PM

    Perfectly said. I completely relate!

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  47. SophiaDecember 4, 2011 at 2:48 PM

    I'm so with you girl!!! You are so right! Wonderful post, so so true and so so common.
    xo
    Sophia

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  48. Célèste FohlDecember 5, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    Wow. I really needed to read this today. It's good to know I'm not alone in my natural inclination to always overextend myself.

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  49. WhitneyDecember 6, 2011 at 5:42 PM

    Totally understand where you're coming from here, and I have definitely been there too. I think sometimes we all need to cut ourselves a little slack and realize that it's hard for everyone, in their own way. Maybe not today, or this week, but everyone goes through these same thoughts and feelings too. With all that said though, I hope your spirits have perked since writing this post.

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  50. DeniseDecember 9, 2011 at 10:33 PM

    Katie, today is the first day that I have stopped by your blog. I follow Elsie's blog A Beautiful Mess, and thought I would stop by after see your holiday hair tutorial. I absolutely love browsing through your little creatures and admire what you do.
    As I read this post I felt as if I was reading a letter to myself. You are most definitely not the only one! I am only 17 years old and have already experienced this. I am always in a rush to get somewhere without knowing where I want to go. I graduated high school a year earlier, work two jobs and am currently taking 20 credits a term at the local community college.
    Agh! I can't wait until I have a family, too. Your post is inspiring and has helped remind me to slow down and smell the roses (?) (Is that a/the saying?) Ha:) I wish you the best! Have a happy holidays.

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  51. Zoë {Conversation Pieces}December 15, 2011 at 10:00 AM

    Yup, this is totally me too. Totally. (In the run up to our wedding, I kept repeating that phrase to my now husband!) I love the idea of judging a person by a child's standards!

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  52. Roots and FeathersDecember 17, 2011 at 10:24 PM

    i know exactly how you feel. im the same way, and ive really had to learn over this past year to say no. its been hard but neccessary. i think we are all an adult work in progress, nicely put! xoxo

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